This blog will be short and simple ☺️there are many different ways of coping with mental health and these are just some I use when I have a dip in my mental health:

• using a self-help workbook with the support of a therapist
• Use an online course
• Talk over the phone
• Have one-to-one’s
• Meet in a group with similar conditions.
• Noticing tension and taking deep breaths to reduce it
• Catching negative thoughts and replacing them with healthy ones
• Setting and maintaining appropriate and healthy boundaries between you and others
• Relaxing with aromatherapy
• Destressing with soothing activities like coloring, reading, etc.
• Eating healthy
• Sleeping the right amount
• Finding things that make you grateful
• Creating little moments of joy in each day

*****If you or a loved one are experiencing a mental health crisis, you can call a local NHS mental health helpline for 24-hour advice and support You can call for yourself, your child, your parent or someone you care for. If someone’s life is at risk or they cannot be kept safe, call 999 or go to A&E.*****

What is social media:

Social media is an interactive computer based technology that can facilitate the creation or sharing information, ideas, career interests, and other forms of expression through virtual communities and networks

What is mental health:

It includes our emotional, psychological , and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices.

How does it affect us putting them together?

The positives of social media:

• Communication- stay up to date with family and friends from all over the world.
• Seek/offer support- reach out to thousands of people around the world who need the support. (If you’re mentally strong enough to do so)
• Join/promote groups- supporting groups or promoting your business or groups can help you succeed in your business.
• New friends- making new friends can make yourself feel good and boost confidence.
• Creativity- finding a creativity in yourself or others.

The negatives of social media:

• FOMO (fear of missing out)- having a fear of missing out in technology devices or new up to date clothing can cause massive panic and can lead to panic attacks.
• Certain ways- having social media when you’re not particularly having a good day or been treated a certain way can start making you feel you NEED to look/act a way supermodels do. Most sayings I’ve heard is ‘I need to be skinny like that model’ or ‘I need lips like kylie Jenner’ BUT 90% of the time it’s photoshopped.
• Relying on social media- relying on social media can cause you to forget reality exists and unfortunately it isn’t real.
• Cyber bullying- perhaps you turn to social media because you’re being bullied physically when reality and statics have shown 80% of suicide stories are related to cyber bullying. This can be anything from a phone call up to a comment on a pic. Words hurt. This could also lead to self explosion.
• loneliness- social media can also make you feel more lonelier than you was before.

My experience:

Social media has become a most chunk of my life. I was 12 when I first joined a social media platform. I’ve had cyber bullying, suicide thoughts, lose many friends, self harm thoughts all due to one post. I log into Instagram see a skinny girl and think I NEED to look like that. Reality is NO! You’re perfect the way you are. The photos you see is photoshopped. Even models have bad skin, no one in this world is perfect. I bet 50% of my girl readers have had an experience where you’re with someone and he likes a girls post. They call it us being “psycho” but in reality it makes us think we ain’t enough and we need to look like them. You need to remember we are not in reality we use social media to escape reality. You seem them photos they look happy right? Well I guarantee they ain’t it’s just for the views. Been there done that. So what are the suicide rates?:

Suicide rates from social media:

Statistics reveal close to 800,000 who take their own life every year and this estimated amount differentiates from those who attempt that act alone which sometimes can be more.

As you can see just from social media the death with suicide increases each year. That’s 800,000 lives that were precious. WORDS HURT. PLEASE be careful what you write and what you say one word causes one death. I’m going to leave this here now but please in future people really think about how they act and do❤️

‼️EVERY SINGLE LIFE IS WORTH LIVING. LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE ‼️

How is a friendship beneficial when someone has mental health?:

Any friendship whether you have mental health or not is key in life as this is the key role to survival especially when someone with such severe mental health (I.e may want to kill themselves). Having that one friend even that ONE friend who you can rely on to make yourself feel free from that isolation you’re putting yourself into makes a world of difference. Coming from me someone who has once been in that place. That horrible place that you want to end your life, having that one friend you can talk to and won’t make you feel judged and happy from the ‘real life’. Hold onto them they’re the reason besides your family they are the reason you’re in survival mode. Don’t push them away because you feel an a-burden on them because trust me TRUE friends will be with you regardless through thick and thin. You may feel there’s things your family may not be suitable to hear from their child that maybe your friend could help with! These are the reasons friendships are key in life.

So, how could they affect us negatively?

Firstly carrying on from the positives above that friend you called a ‘friend’ isn’t a friend in fact they have no care in the world. You are just another person on their list to take advantage of. These are some of the reasons friendships don’t last with mental health:

• You’ve now made your friendship circle smaller- either you’ve accidentally pushed that person away OR you’ve realised they were never a true friend.
• You may feel rejection from the outside world.
• You become vulnerable towards social situations and difficult to manage.
• You isolate yourself from all.
• You’ve now connected with people who may understand you more.
• Your friendship was never a friendship- it’s now faded or you’ve drifted away.
• That person may not understand mental health.
• Most importantly you may actually feel unwanted by that person.

The most important questions you need to ask yourself is:

Is this a friendship?

Is it heading towards the end or is it going to be stronger?

Retail therapy:

So what is retail therapy? & why does it effect so many people?:

Retail therapy itself is a way of dealing with certain events happening in your life. Doing so may cause repercussions ie: over spending ( money that you don’t have ). Most people have retail therapy to ease their moods. A person may feel depressed or low mood and may think spending will make their life much better and feel more happier in themselves but in reality this may cause financial problems and cause themselves debts. Yes not all retail therapy is based on depression etc and may be just a coping strategy but please be mind-full that people who are depressed and suicidal are 10x more likely not thinking straight. I myself love a good spend up but we must ALL know our limits.

Family life:

Causing debt may end up in addiction I.e: gambling. This is Very common as they may feel like they could win this bet. That bet. Yes in-fact you may win the bet here and there but with a person with addiction they feel like they would keep winning resulting in losing more money. This will then cause stresses on family life. Even ending up losing their family home/family. Stress on family can then cause more depression and increasing more retail therapy and making it turn into a viscous circle. Family life can help you 10x better than any retail therapy. Money doesn’t solve issues. Love does.

❌❌URGENT❌❌

Please be aware people are going around stealing blogs and making them as their own. I have spent time and effort into these and don’t wish to be treated this way. If you have any questions based on any of my topics please don’t hesitate to contact me on Snapchat: chloeee_lxo or furthermore comment below Thankyou.

Almost half of the population (adults) will experience some sort of mental illness. This can include: PTSD, Major depressive disorder, anxiety and alcoholism. This could and most probably cause a huge impact on your relationships and this is why:

Common feelings:

Issues that are common within couples that are affected with some sort of mental health may include: shame, guilt, resentment & stress (pressure). Feelings that may occur are as follows: embarrassment & guilt about their condition. These are all common feelings and aren’t anything to be ashamed about.

Intimacy:

Another source of action that may occur when someone’s feeling low in their self is disinterest in sex. They may start to feel inadequate to meet your needs and feel they won’t do a good performance. Having low self-esteem could lead to decreased bonding between you and your partner and will result in unmet needs within the relationship.

Seeking help for your relationship:

One way to help ensure your relationship is as perfect as it used to be is having marriage/couples therapy. This is very common especially with couples that have children. Another way of help is trying to open to one and another about how you’re feeling and ways you could help each other feel good again.

Is it reaching breaking point?

Most couples find it hard to cope after a series of ‘episodes’ the male or female has relapsed on. Many couples question is this the end. Well is it the end?

These are many ways you’ll know if it’s the ‘end’:

• Lack of interest
• Your partner has ‘gave up’ helping you
• You’re constantly arguing with your partner
• Lack of intimacy
• You don’t remember the last time you smiled

To prevent these from happening I personally advise anyone out there suffering to speak up. Get help. Take control. See your GP. Speak to your partner. Try counselling. Try therapy. Couples therapy or marriage counselling. But PLEASE try your hardest. It’s a journey not a race.

Hello all. So sorry I haven’t blogged in a few months. I’ve been really busy trying to get myself back on track. I’m back.

So a little background information my daughter has chromosome abnormalities. She has chromosome 8 duplication and chromosome 2 deletion. Both quite similar but different.

She was born with this and has always been in and out of hospital. Only 3 months ago was she diagnosed with such horrible conditions. She is a happy baby but needs a lot of support and attention. She is 9 months old now and she genuinely has a heart of gold. Such a loving character.

She doesn’t do what most babies do for her age and in fact she may never be able to do so either but I believe in my girl and it might take some time but I KNOW she will do it.

On top of this I have BPD which I’ve explained previously and at times I do struggle significantly. I get up I smile I show my girl what life is about and then I put her to bed and cry. Having my mental health is hard enough. Being a single mum is hard enough but doing it together and on top having a baby with extra needs it’s tough. BUT I DO IT! I will continue to do it because I have a beautiful girl who needs me.

Today I reached out to hundreds of people on Facebook groups. Friends. Family. It’s what I’ve needed to do a long time ago. I have therapy. I have so much support. My mum is my biggest supporter. Speaking from my heart has been a challenging thing to do lately as I’ve felt really on my own and an ‘a-burden’ I suppose. I’m not on my own. You’re not on your own either. Even if you have a child that’s healthy happy and you just feel alone or not enough for your child. For yourself. DO NOT BELIEVE IT. You’re doing amazing.

Sometimes we just need to rant vent or do something to feel better. I am that someone. Message me. Ring me. Especially with lockdown happening I do not want you feeling alone in this awful time. Please remember you’re an amazing parent. Mum. Dad. Step dad. Step mum. Carer. No matter what you are. You are enough. I just wanted to hop on and really open my arms to anyone suffering. I dealt with my demons by reaching out please try do the same. Write it down. Record yourself. But PLEASE don’t hold it in.

I love you all x

Usually when pregnancy occurs the women is supposed to be happy and excited right? Well unfortunately it’s not always the case. You may have mixed, or even negative, feelings about being pregnant- this is completely normal. Due to the hormonal change you may even find that you have difficulty managing the massive changes with your body & most insecurities may start to show. Many women including myself may even have doubts of being a good mum and may find themselves anxious about how they will cope. When pregnant it is NORMAL to worry about the following:

• The changes in your role (becoming a mum)
• Changes in relationships including the father of your child and surroundings
• Whether you’re cut out to be a mum/parent
• Fear of your baby being unhealthy
• Fear of childbirth
• Even fear something bad will happen
• & lastly lack of support around you

Many many women suffer mental health BEFORE pregnancy but can occur during or even after and sometimes can even get worse. Anxiety and depression is the main signs something is wrong! These affect about 10 to 15 out of every 100 pregnant women. Severity can vary and like anything in life it can happen to anyone at any point in life. If you already have mental health it is a high chance you will become unwell during or even after birth (known as postnatal depression).

However, with the right help this can often be prevented. You can also develop mental health problems for the first time in pregnancy or after birth. Symptoms of mental illness in pregnancy are similar to symptoms you have at other times, but some may focus on the pregnancy. Example as following: you may be anxious or have negative thoughts in your head about your baby or even the pregnancy. The “baby belly” as some people like to say.

Some people may need more support than others and that may just be you and you know what? Don’t be ashamed don’t be scared don’t feel embarrassed or feel like you ain’t a good mum just because you need help because asking for help and showing others you can acknowledge you need help makes you a fantastic mum and it’s honestly so normal you probably don’t even realise it. . Your main support may be your partner, family or friends. It is helpful if the people closest to you know about your mental health problems. If you are at risk of becoming unwell, they should know what symptoms to look out for. They also need to know who to contact for help if they are worried about you. Your partner, family and friends can also help in practical ways – with cooking and cleaning, for instance.

If you need the help and you’re pregnant or going through that postnatal stage please seek help! Reach out to anyone. I have a page of helpful numbers please call somebody get that help you need today. Don’t be afraid ask for help 💕

-yes I’ve had a mini break from blogging due to my life being very hectic and mental health taking a turn but guess what I’m back 😆

Now I’ve told you about my mini break let’s begin to say Thankyou for everyone’s support and messages regarding the blogging.

I would like to start by saying this whole journey with my mental health has been extraordinary, it’s helped with what I deal with. I couldn’t of done any of this without my families support and presents!

I’ve now also decided to hopefully start a fundraising event and try spread as much awareness and help as possible! There will be a fundraising page on my Facebook page please message me for further details

Sorry this blogs all over the place I do try my best😆

My history;

Hello I’m Chloe I’m a 21 year old from Suffolk,Lowestoft. I have a 6 month old baby called Isla-Mai. I’m a single mum with severe mental health issues. I was diagnosed with BPD Depression and Anxiety from the age of 14 years old. I had an amazing child hood and was shocked to be diagnosed with such a massive disorder.

I never went to school because of bullying and ended up being home school which to your surprise I still managed to get GCSE’s. When I was only 18 years old I took an over dose of 30 paracetamols resulting in hospital for a week due to wanting to end my life. Resulting in self admitting myself in a mental health unit.

When I was 20 years old I fell pregnant and knew this was all about to change. She saved my life. I’ve been away from my blogging for about a week now due to wanting space and time to myself and my daughter. Today onwards I get back on track.

Struggling with mental health a past of self harm and also bringing a child up on my own is seriously a massive struggle for me at times. From the moment I found out about her I seriously got serious help! To make sure I was the best for my little girl

Some people don’t understand me but it’s not what it all seems at times please don’t judge the book by its cover before you know the story.

Please anyone out there seek help before it’s too late💕

In England, around 1 in 8 men have a common mental health problem. As we all know men are very reluctant to seek medical advice and support due them feeling “less manly”.

Society is a massive part of the problem these days. For men, society expects men “should” behave some what masculinity which includes the expectation that men be the breadwinners of their family, and that they display what have traditionally been perceived as masculine traits like strength, stoicism, dominance, and control.

Research has shown that men whilst wanting to feel in control and strong and “man of the house” relying on these has effected most men negatively resulting even suicide. As they struggle but want to show they are not weak. Research suggests that behaving this way can result in men feeling more anxious and distressed. Some research also suggests that men who feel as though they are unable speak openly about emotions may be less able to recognise symptoms of mental health problems in themselves, and less likely to reach out for support.

Back in 2017 the suicide rates went up massively result 75% were male. Most cases men were only under 50 years old. Men that are more than likely to commit suicide either have a background, different race, poor income or even gay.

This is absolutely heart breaking. More people world wide talk about women’s mental health we need more recognition towards men’s mental health. It is incredibly important to understand men also go through mental health but men cover up their thoughts when they could actually be crying for help inside. You are not alone. At least one point in your life you will feel this way it is normal and doesn’t make you any less of a person.

Please can we share this and spread awareness for everyone.